The Indefinable

The feeling of insecure, uneasy, nervous, tension & worry is overflowing in my head as I tried to work on my notebook today. I'd really hope to work things out and make it a fruitful day. I can't think further & everything seem to paused in a way I can't figure out why. The to-do list is building up and it got me frustrated that I am not able to cross each item nice & perfectly. I hate asking myself "how", and myself is not answering me "how".

I admired Alesia's quote today, it says: It's hard when you don't know what caused your sadness, but it's even harder when you know what makes you happy yet you can't do anything to have it. If people are trying to pull you down, be proud about it, because it only confirms that you are above them.

The first half of the quote mentioned my current situation, it pointed to the self-frustration and dilemma that I am currently drowned. However I am not sure about the second half of the quote. I think the external factor is rather low in my case, no one is pulling me down, think its me that is pulling myself down and at the same time trying to raise myself up.

What the heck is this? I'm such a troubled kid.

I need to get out of this sudden blue as quickly as possible. Don't like the idea of floating to no where.